We do a overly great job taking responsibility for others, to the determent.
The word is clear. You are to renew your mind in Christ Jesus. We place to much pressure on others to do this for us. This enables us to stay in a “victim” mindset. It also enables them to take on false responsibility over you. I have fallen prey to this tactic on both ends. I have been the one that expects people to renew my mind for me. I have also been the one that has had the pressure of washing someone else’s mind every time they would need it. I am not throwing the baby out with the bath water. I am all for accountability and safe people around you to share life with. I am all for having people speak truth over you. What I am referring to is the two syndromes that comes with this at an extreme level. Today I will share about one that is very familiar to me
The Mama Hen Syndrome: you have walked this journey with someone so closely that they are officially co-dependent on you. They have to have you in order to get through something. They feed off you and you like the way it feels to be needed. We all like to be needed, the problem is that our job as followers of Christ is to raise up disciples and send them into their destines not to keep them so close so that we can stroke them when we want to feel needed. Christ’s model was to raise disciples up and send them out to greater exploits than those He did. The mama hen syndrome comes with the lie that if you don’t help them who will? If I don’t respond they may get worse. Chances are if you struggle with this, you have tried to get free but your scared to death that this person may “fall” again if your not there to catch them. I have truth for you. Christ can’t lose His Children. Take the pressure off yourself. You aren’t the savior. You are in need yourself of some “Jesus” time. A time to let yourself be washed over by the water of His word. You aren’t called to “mama hen” anyone. Your job is to love and speak truth but not to the point that you lose yourself in the process due to the leach that is sucking the life out of you. You need to cut the rope and let Jesus be Jesus! Lead them to Jesus not your own need to feel empowered by being a “fixer” You must must must speak truth to them. There are probably things you know your supposed to say but your to afraid that it will set them off again into the dark abyss. STOP! Its not your job to caudal them. The only thing that sets people free is truth. In the end they will love you for speaking the things no one else would say. As well as thank you for not wasting their time on this Earth with sugar coated things. You can still love them and speak like over them without feeling like the pressure to set them free is on you!!! Freedom from false responsibility over people!!!
I only write this because I am familiar with it and have sought my own freedom with God over the issue. The first way to get healing is to face it with honesty, humility and draw close to The Lord. There is freedom and fullness for you and myself! So let the adventure begin or continue for your freedom!!!!