2 worlds within 1 heart

It has been a dream to be in India since I was 20 or so. At times it was so strong in me and other times it seemed like the galaxies that surround us but we don’t even think about it. I would share with people that I felt called to missions. I would see the way God had wired me to travel and let go of things easily. I would tell my family not to get used to me being around because I was going to travel to Africa and India. I would often spark tears in my mother as I would share about my willingness to die for the gospel if it would just bring people to know God the way I did. what I didn’t know is that, I would go on in life spending many years feeling as if this dream was never going to happen. Even “laying it down” on the alter and walking away trusting that God could do what He wanted with it. It was in that time that God spoke to me immensely about my call to America. He used many years to break my heart for his western bride. He spoke deeply and brought me back to the simplicity of his heart that America has a tendency to stray away from. In this time the dream of traveling sharing the love that had so radically changed my life was but a drop in the ocean of many other things taking place around me. I would spend many years that have become many of my favorite times traveling within certain states letting God wreck me and give me His heart for America and the American Church. There would be times I would see my friends traveling and doing missions all over the world and I wouldn’t even think of my dreams of one day doing that. They would ask me to join them and I would say “no” honestly not thinking it would ever happen. I didn’t feel the dream anymore. I had left it on the altar not to be touched by myself or any person. The dream that once would wake me up in the middle of the night praying for other nations has died and I had no reason to believe that it would come back. But you see where I am now. I could talk hours about how God resurrected it. All I can say is that story in itself is radical, but will have to wait for another day. So here I am in India living out a dream that is well over 9 years old. I walk these streets sometimes and think of that 20 year old girl that was dreaming of this very moment. I then am reminded of the 25 year old girl that had within herself given up on the dream and “moved on” in life. All this leads to laughter within my self that I am 29 years old and living out a dream that was placed in my 9 plus years ago! Yet this feels different than I thought it would feel. Don’t get me wrong it feels great and I am reminded of the prayers that were prayed and tears that were invested into this dream, even seeing people on the streets that I have once seen in a dream. Yes you read that correctly. 🙂 I find myself more full of dreams than I have ever been. It is as if a cap has been taken off my heart and now nothing seems impossible. I am surrounded by a dream being fulfilled before my eyes and my heart leaps for joy. At the same time I surrounded by new dreams taking shape within my heart as I walk out one being fulfilled. It feels like two worlds within one heart. I walk these streets dreaming of the new streets he will send me to for His love sake! In the last 8 months God has placed in my heart a dream to travel and share his love around South East Asia and beyond. It started out with the thought of taking teams of like mindedness and hunger to see God show up within many places throughout S.E.A. It has taken different shapes and turns within letting Him create it within me. It then began to take turns when I felt like He was placing many specific places on my heart. It is still being thought about and its on the “brainstorming” table as to what it will look like and other details. So here I am surrounded by a dream being walked out yet as i walk this out there is such a stirring for the new dreams that are being birthed in my spirit and heart. Two worlds within one heart.