The life we live demands yes or no answers for the most part.
As many of you know I am prepping to head back to Africa in May. It has had its moments of great joy and great sadness. The thought of being on another crazy adventure will over take me for a while and then the sobering reminder of leaving a place I call home will set in. I am attempting to make the most of my time here in the states, seeing family, friends, resting and getting refreshed as I prep to be on the go for 8 months. For a few months some great friends of mine and myself have talked about making a trip down to work with an orphanage in Mexico. I had been looking forward to this for so many reasons. As time was going by quickly upon all of our arrivals in the USA, we started making plans. I knew the later it got into my time here the harder it would be for me to go but I wanted to try to make it work. A few weeks ago I got a call from my old job, they needed help covering a few shifts as one girl had to take some time off. Of course, I said yes! I am in need of money! I have also been trying to get visa things in order and sending this out to get stamped and that out to be approved, there is a lot that comes with prepping to leave the country. I kept fighting myself with the question, “Am i supposed to go Mexico?” It was such a battle for me. I just wanted a yes or no from God then I could plan accordingly. How a hard is that? Yes or No. The trip would for a 5 days, I can make it work. I will move this here and get this done on another day… I found myself spinning. I was so confused and at a loss of answers. It was like I had gone from being focus to spinning not knowing what to do about anything. I would say I just don’t want to make a choice. I was pooped out. After talks with much wiser friends of mine and just hearing myself talk it out, I made a choice. I am going to go to Mexico I just have to much to do already and that will cut into the time I have to get it done. As well as I need to work, as God gave me this job. I told a friend of mine that it has nothing to do with the money part of going to Mexico. I say this because every penny I get right now is going towards Africa. It has nothing to do with the money part I trust that God could provide if He wants me to go. It has everything to do with TIME. I reassured this friend, even at this point if my friends were to tell me that they would pay for it all, I can’t go. It was official I wasn’t go to go. I let my friends know and they supported me. A few days later one of them talked to me to let me know that they had spoken and they would like for me to go with them to Mexico and they would cover the trip I would just need to pay for very very minor things. Of course, I immediately started thinking well maybe this is God’s way and I am just fighting it. Maybe He does want me to go. So there I was spinning in my head all over again. As I walked the beach one morning I was quietly praying Lord show me what I need to do here. He reminded me in one moment of something that has changed my life forever. Often times we seek for YES or NO in life’s questions, but what we should ask ourselves is : is this a wise choice? As soon as I started thinking that way I knew my answer was NO. I can’t go there is to much to be done. I must chose to spend my time wisely. I must steward the time I have here and get things prepped and making sure I am being filled up as well. I was also reminded of the conversation I had with my friend that I shared with her that its not about the money its about time. I just don’t have time.
It is easy to get my “pannies in a bunch” trying to make yes or no answers out of every question. It is so much more smooth if I stop and I ask what is the wisest choice I could make! I know what God is asking of me and sharing with me so what lines up with that. It is all to easy to let life consume us and soon we find ourselves beat up and on the side lines while life passes us by. It takes courage to stand against the grain and really make something out of your time on this Earth. Stewards of TIME. Making life the fullest it can be by simply following the writer of our scripts!
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